I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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