Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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