the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
