Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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