Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
