I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
