So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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