Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
