you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Mom said you looked used
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
