That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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