I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
