I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
