No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
