so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Randomize
