Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
