You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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