yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
zippers are such a cool invention
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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