If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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