I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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