If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
