If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
