im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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