Too much gin, very little bucket
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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