The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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