Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
