More tranny stories later!
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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