yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
