don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
