my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
