I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
As shirtless as possible
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
