dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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