So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
