508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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