Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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