This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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