Will you blow on my dice?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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