So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
