wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Shame - the story of my life.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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