this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
