Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
