11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
