He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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