i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
