Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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