thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Green mimosas i think yes
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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