There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
did i walk over a car last night?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
