at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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