I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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