i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
