You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Terrible idea I love it
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
